The Bottom Of Night

Here at the bottom of night -
A light!

The dawning of thought and morning

Here is my restlessness, my thoughts overflowing
resisting arrest, my impatience growing
Sleep taunts me, haunts me

But my heart weighs heavily upon by chest
I can feel it beating, thumping, breaking

For all that's before me but just beyond reach
and hidden in the conversations I'm faking
is a fear of my own making

This cosy blanket of inhibition
bravery displayed in the safest of places
Why can't I escape it after all this time?

Still sometimes it surfaces like this -
A momentary abyss

Here at the bottom of night, a fight.